thought in process

collecting thoughts and organizing them in my head

words aligning with their priority and connections.

eventually coming together for me to accept and understand.

and when i take it into my heart, it becomes more than just thoughts,

it becomes life.

images

my story on april 21 2008, closer to my imagination...

study

somethings just don't come easy. it takes time for it to come out of your imagination....

into the new world

i had the most vivid dream. the one that made my mouth drop.

it told my future...into the new world.

hudson

took a road trip to hudson today. very charming place

good luck and good night

while showing S my wallet with special condom compartment, she called me her favorite person...

i was so happy to hear those words, i decided to make her my special condom carrying wallet.

here's a wallet for you...

"Good Luck and Good Night!"

look into yourself

what makes it good

i am looking at the sky. i am looking at the most beautiful pink and coral lights that lit up a building. the colors just melted away with the greyish lavender sky that almost looked so fake to be true. it really was breathlessly beautiful. i took a camera out of my head and took a picture so that i could remember it till my last day.
what makes something good? what makes something beautiful and worth keeping? what will make my art good. what will make my life worth living??? question was knocking on my darkest door.
.............
i think the truth..even if it's pathetic and sad and lonely, and all that made my day ultimately made my life beautiful. because it's real and it's what i truly feel. what would make my life and my art good... was up to how real i was going to be.....

i will repeat it back to me...once again

connect the dot

on my way back from the city, as soon as my bus makes its way out of the lincoln tunnel, i get this panoramic view of the city night sky. it's a view that's too grand to even absorb... but since i look at it almost everynight, i forget... i foget how grand it is..
today, i took in this view with much respect... i tried to imagine the connected line between one of those lighted room back to me.....
what did it mean... so many people, so many different lives...all with their own dreams and despair, and all that life offers...
it was so much to take in... then, i ever imagined.

when i got back home, i had dinner with mom..
i think i really wanted to speak to her about this feeling i had inside... like what was the purpose of all this... and most importantly, wanted to ask her what was her motive in life... but then, she was too busy trying to watch tv. i actually answered my own question of what drove her life... to watch korean drama. i don't get it....

i missed my dad....i wonder what my dad would of said if i told him..
that i was tired. i was just tired of all.

is my dream that far away... why does it seem so far and dark.
how would i be able to connect the dot between one of those lights back to me.

dotted rain drops

moment of silence
in every direction
vibrating to the core of my emotion
sprinkle the drops on me
let the raindrops absorb my sorrow
then reach out to me

i am not afraid

let my eyes breathe in
the infinite echos of you

scribble writing

i am loving scribble writing again.

i love it.

wallet

few years back, out of the blue, i decided i wasn't going to carry a wallet.

why? i don't think i had a reason... i just felt like rebelling against something... that something i do not know.

anyway, today at my sewing class, i decided that i was going to make myself a wallet instead of practicing on same stitch over and over...

why? i think i was rebelling against something again. i don't know. i can't help myself. why god made me this way.

anyway, after getting few looks from the instructor, i finished the wallet. my very first machine sew object

it's so cute!

wallet and me... happy together....

rest in peace

golden air
wrap me in you
carry me
let me flow with you

still
let me dwell with you
reflect my shadow in you

when you go down
I will go with you
i am resting thru in you
i will wave into the air with you

form Vs formless (afterthoughts of lecture at rubin museum)

what is the difference bt form and formless
is it in our thoughts?
everytime i talk to my dad, he repeats it like a record player back to me...
don't forget to meditate... don't forget.

last night, it was clear to me. i needed to get into meditating on daily base.
to bring things back to one. to be more clear minded... to be connected... to be more joyful.. to be more timelesss... to unhook my attachments and set my soul free.

that sounds great...set my soul free...

poetry in motion

pierce me with your brightness
blind me with your soul
set them free
trust the wind of flow
and thru the magic of god's finger,
i shall feel you
i know you are
on your way

squeeze it out

while looking out the window, i was pouring thoughts out of me. no, i was squeezing thoughts out of me. i wanted to write. i wanted something profound that put my emotions into tangible words.

....................

it's hard when you have nothing bother you.

i guess little bit of torture is useful in art making.

in any case, here some drawings from life drawing this week.

i also started this new version of writing words. crazy scribble writing!!!

thought drawing

hear me out

today i went hiking with A & M.

it was a sensational day for hiking. We also stopped by this small cemetary.

the picture speaks thousand words but the sound spoke trillion......

dreams and reality

what does my soul desire??
i ran as hard as i can for the last few years. i wanted to get ahead. i wanted to pick up to start flying. Life had been so good to me. it helped me to meet the right people, at the right time.. and now i am taking off... i am starting to see the view... i am starting to fly. i almost can't even believe....
so, i ask myself... are you happy? is this what you wanted?
is this what my soul desired??
or am i just part of the story?
is this my story or is this someone else's story? am i part of someone else's story or am i in my own story?

am i in my own dream?
i looked at the sky before coming into my house.... full moon.. really beautiful night with gorgeous clouds floating....
this is def. my dream.
my dream indeed.

wheel

sometimes i really want to get off the wheel. the wheel of torture that we create for ourselves.

in the last few weeks, i feel like i just got back into the wheel where you just keeping craving things in your life. more...more ...more.. it's like you could never have enough and it just keep getting more empty and futile.

i think i am gonna turn back to my art now.
peace and quite.

believe and it will be

i believe if you believe it happens.... i believe if you desire, it will be yours.

i believe... that something in the air...

thank you

screenprinting 101

on my way back home on bus, i was thinking about how lucky i am to meet people in my life. Today i got to screenprint tee shirt thanks to Mikal. it was beyond fun. i felt like 5 year old again.... i will remember this day. thanks!