overcoming my fear

within me, i still hold fear. i try to hold it and keep it there so that no one will notice and that it would not hurt me. but i think it still hurts.

i came home today and continue working on my 6th piece. as i was putting the yarns together i was thinking about what i really needed in my life.

as i was lying down in my yoga class earlier, i was thinking the same exact question. was i in the right path? am i making the right decision? all sorts of questions just pondered on my head. it was foggy once again.

i shook it off. i took a step back, took a breath and put my hands up in the air and screamed..my 2 favorite words.

BE BRAVE

blow me

the grocery store near my jersey house has a huge fish tank with the biggest blowfish i have ever seen. he is seriously big. and to prove how big he is i took a camera with me to the grocery. check him out. giant blow me. there was another crazy fish in there. he is new but crazy. he was swimming like he was on speed. anyway, i still love the big blow better.

This morning when i woke up i finally had the courage to listen to the rest of the message my ex left me on my voice mail. it was okay listening to him. i actually felt quite sad in the fact that things are never going to be the same. i do wish him well. i do sincerely hope he finds his peace and love. anyway, i started the 2nd part of my 6th piece. it's sluggish but i am going to finish it by this week. can't let the birds down. bird A wants to be with bird B... i know i know.

i have purple hair

last night going thru my old sketchpad, i discovered my cartoon drawing from i have no idea how long ago. maybe 4 years or something.

i didn't even realize i drew them. my friend P had got me into animation lately and i thought it was so cool that i have my own characters. i think he'll get a kick out of this. well, i guess the girl on top left is me. one on the bottom was probably my love interest. the one on the top right was probably my old weird friend that i went to visit often. the one with the glasses is the nerd that knew everything. the one next to it is my best friend. the snail looking thing on the bottom is the lazy ass kid that smoked pot all day.

i pray

sometimes its so hard to say things but lately i decided i am just gonna set myself free and just say what i feel. say what i feel.

who cares if i change my mind 5 minutes later. ki ki kik ki.

here are few of my thoughts at the moment.

1. stay away from attention getters

2. do not work on sunday or you will be super tired

3. is it better to be old and look young or young but old looking?

4. my thumb hurts from embroidering.

5. i want my 6th piece to be the best!!!!

work in progress (25%)

my grandma

just called korea and my grandma answered. my beloved grandma.
when i was little, i remember having fights with her. i was probably like 4 or 5 years old. she was so good to me and i was the biggest brat in the world.
as i get older, i realize how lucky i am to have her. she prayed for me everyday without a day missing for the past 30 years of my life. i often wear her prayer beads and think of her and her strength.
my grandma....i can't wait to see her.

trees are exercised by wind

tree in process thought#1:
my dad once told me while sitting in the park together
"soojae, do you know how tree exercises?"
"i don't know.... how do they exercise?"
and then he told me something that i will never forget...
"trees are exercised by the wind"
"cool...."
i believe you dad.

asian art fair

so there i was sending in front of rows and rows of different gallery sections. i can't describe how much excitment i had at that point. i was going to see tons of art..... hee hee

i loved it. there were so many great pieces. so here are some of my favorite pieces. i thank all the artists for their impact in my life.

love love

bird A + bird B = happy birds

i made tree branches all day. here is the start of my 6th piece

about 3 years ago i sketched a bird with another bird hanging upside down on the branch. it was an image i had in my mind for awhile. i was at b&n when i completed my sketch. i really adored it. i loved the story behind a bird looking for that "one" true friend and finding it at the end of the same branch. except the other bird is upside down and is looking backward. not knowing what waits him. in few seconds, the greatest moment of its life will happen.

bird A is calling out to bird B.

i attempted to paint it with oil back then. i couldn't get it to finish. i kept changing the colors over and over again.... finally i put it to rest.

so now, i got the courage to do it again in yarn. it will truly be my very precious piece once its finished. i can't wait to give it a life.

bird A will finally meet bird B.

the magic of art!

i love it.

welcome home

my mom has been making me snacks and lunch this week. i have to say i feel like a little kid having my mom pack lunch. she makes the wackiest things... far more extreme than myself.
today's snack#1- carrots, banana, and apple all chopped in a one ziplock bag
snack#2- english muffin, grape jelly, and walnuts
snack #3- half rotten yuca

she cracks me up.
i love my mom.

why i love drawing

there was a moment about 3 years ago when i just fell madly in love with drawing. i remember going to the Barnes and Nobles in nj and just drawing for hours...

i came across my old sketchpad and it totally brought me back...

ohhhh, those were the days.

i need to get back into drawing!!!

JT

today is one of my favorite person's birthday.
smile. you got great days to come!

i am yours

i was at a comic book store, suddenly i couldn't stop feeling horribly sad about how people come and go out of our lives. i could't believe i was already sad about saying goodbye to someone i just met. i am such a creature of emotion. woman.....

i wonder if its because i am a girl. i wonder what i would of been as a boy. would i be as emotional? no, i would be sensitive.

my 5th piece is in "i am yours" in round head.

tall pine

yesterday i went out to east village to hear live music.
"tall pine" (www.myspace.com/thetallpines)
indeed, all the band member seems to be quite tall. altho i am sure they didn't name themselves after that. while listening to the music, i was thinking about what draws people in to different kind of music, things that they spents tons and tons of their time. just like why do i spent so much time crocheting and sketching letters? why? is it our destiny?
i looked over and J was watching her drummer boy.
"what are you thinking about?"
"i am analyzing their outfits"

go figure.