dotted rain drops

moment of silence
in every direction
vibrating to the core of my emotion
sprinkle the drops on me
let the raindrops absorb my sorrow
then reach out to me

i am not afraid

let my eyes breathe in
the infinite echos of you

scribble writing

i am loving scribble writing again.

i love it.

wallet

few years back, out of the blue, i decided i wasn't going to carry a wallet.

why? i don't think i had a reason... i just felt like rebelling against something... that something i do not know.

anyway, today at my sewing class, i decided that i was going to make myself a wallet instead of practicing on same stitch over and over...

why? i think i was rebelling against something again. i don't know. i can't help myself. why god made me this way.

anyway, after getting few looks from the instructor, i finished the wallet. my very first machine sew object

it's so cute!

wallet and me... happy together....

rest in peace

golden air
wrap me in you
carry me
let me flow with you

still
let me dwell with you
reflect my shadow in you

when you go down
I will go with you
i am resting thru in you
i will wave into the air with you

form Vs formless (afterthoughts of lecture at rubin museum)

what is the difference bt form and formless
is it in our thoughts?
everytime i talk to my dad, he repeats it like a record player back to me...
don't forget to meditate... don't forget.

last night, it was clear to me. i needed to get into meditating on daily base.
to bring things back to one. to be more clear minded... to be connected... to be more joyful.. to be more timelesss... to unhook my attachments and set my soul free.

that sounds great...set my soul free...

poetry in motion

pierce me with your brightness
blind me with your soul
set them free
trust the wind of flow
and thru the magic of god's finger,
i shall feel you
i know you are
on your way

squeeze it out

while looking out the window, i was pouring thoughts out of me. no, i was squeezing thoughts out of me. i wanted to write. i wanted something profound that put my emotions into tangible words.

....................

it's hard when you have nothing bother you.

i guess little bit of torture is useful in art making.

in any case, here some drawings from life drawing this week.

i also started this new version of writing words. crazy scribble writing!!!

thought drawing

hear me out

today i went hiking with A & M.

it was a sensational day for hiking. We also stopped by this small cemetary.

the picture speaks thousand words but the sound spoke trillion......

dreams and reality

what does my soul desire??
i ran as hard as i can for the last few years. i wanted to get ahead. i wanted to pick up to start flying. Life had been so good to me. it helped me to meet the right people, at the right time.. and now i am taking off... i am starting to see the view... i am starting to fly. i almost can't even believe....
so, i ask myself... are you happy? is this what you wanted?
is this what my soul desired??
or am i just part of the story?
is this my story or is this someone else's story? am i part of someone else's story or am i in my own story?

am i in my own dream?
i looked at the sky before coming into my house.... full moon.. really beautiful night with gorgeous clouds floating....
this is def. my dream.
my dream indeed.

wheel

sometimes i really want to get off the wheel. the wheel of torture that we create for ourselves.

in the last few weeks, i feel like i just got back into the wheel where you just keeping craving things in your life. more...more ...more.. it's like you could never have enough and it just keep getting more empty and futile.

i think i am gonna turn back to my art now.
peace and quite.

believe and it will be

i believe if you believe it happens.... i believe if you desire, it will be yours.

i believe... that something in the air...

thank you

screenprinting 101

on my way back home on bus, i was thinking about how lucky i am to meet people in my life. Today i got to screenprint tee shirt thanks to Mikal. it was beyond fun. i felt like 5 year old again.... i will remember this day. thanks!

why do we....

we expect different things. we expect it because we want it.

while we debated over why we do the things we do, i couldn't stop wondering why we tried so hard to justify things. justify things so that we could do what our hearts desired. and our hearts always don't decide to do the smartest things. we think we are....but we have no idea.

why do we play with fire? why can't we just come out and say that we just want to.

i could spot artist from miles away

after yoga, looking like a hot sweating tomato, i ran into the subway to catch my bus home. As i was sitting on my train, i noticed a guy with a brush pen drawing. i was like...

'that's so cool. i wonder what he's drawing..?'

and then, i realized he was starting to draw me.... and i was like....

'that is way too cool. i need to talk to this guy!'

so i went over and introduced myself and ta da, i have a drawing!!!

i must say, this is awesome piece for someone that just met me and drew me in less than 5 minutes FLAT while i didn't even really pose. he did capture part of me in there.

you rock!

lost & found

today, i left my hat at the restaurant .

and few hours later, i left my handbag at the bar. interesting enough, i was able to run back and find it again.

it was a odd feeling. leaving things and running back to find it.

lucky for me, both of them were there and restored back to me.

lost and found was the theme of the night.

on the lighter note, had fun at the life drawing as usual.

exercised by wind in action

i was suppose to go to the office today but i woke up late.. decided that i will work at home. spent the last 3 hours cleaning my house, studio...and then, i looked outside and saw how beautiful it looked. i got my camera out and my bubble jacket and got outside to catch the world in action. yes, i can't stand jersey life but today i don't mind it so much.
i love the notion of movement in things we don't think about... but they are moving crazy today...

scary

today i have been in the office by myself while it was pouring out...
i am on the 30th floor overlooking midtown. usually, i love this view, but today it was scary as shit. now, it's dark out and i want to jet out!!!!
chicken? i am.

i let it breathe

today, while sipping korean ginseng wine, we dove into some seriously deep conversation about father and daughter.

i don't know why he reminds me a lot of my father whenever he talks about his little girl.

at the end of that conversation, i couldn't help but to tear up.

there is nothing like love. and especially when that's unconditional love.

i love you dad with all my heart.

sending the energy out there.

i love this bag!!!!

i don't think i have ever stopped anyone to ask someone about their wardrobe or bag...

but today, i couldn't help to just stop someone to ask about their bag. and no, it wasn't a girl...it was a boy. and it was in port authority.

sooj: excuse me, where did you get that bag?

mikal: i made it. you like it?

sooj: yes!!

mikal: you want it?

sooj: yes!!!!

and so he takes out his shoes and some kind of spray can in his bag and hands me this bag i had been eyeing for the past 5 minutes following him.

i can not believe he just gave me the bag right there and then... i am not even sure if he had an extra bag to put his shoes and stuff.

i was too happy with the bag, i totally blanked out.

on my way back home on bus, i was thinking about what i could've given him....i mean i had my monthly metrocard that i just purchased...or my one pair mitton that i made for sunglass case... or my drawing.... i don't know.

but i def want to give something back.

i am sure if i love his shit, he will also love my shit.

check out his stuff on his web

www.rep1.net

spring studio

once again, after work, i rushed to draw at spring studio.

there is nothing that would rather do on wed night.

thank you M for providing the place. you will truly be blessed!!!

blast from the past

today i decided out of nowhere that i was gonna see my ex for the first time in like 8 months.
and yes, i was nervous. nervous about what it was gonna be like, how was i gonna be like...and all those normal things...
and while waiting for him at the bookstore, i almost felt like jetting out but i stayed.
i pulled it thru.
and then, i saw him. and then, i was taken back because he was quite different from what i remembered him.
he looked the same but he looked so distantly different.
after having dinner with him and waiting for the subway and bus back, i was in a trance..
thinking about, what our past really means and if it really is just a dream. not even the same dream but each of our own dream.
i think so.
we remember different things. interpret different things. and learn different things.
what we go from now is also just another dream. our own little dream. how was i gonna dream this scenario was totally up to me.
i think..... i am gonna make this a funny happy caring one.
toast to that.

confession #1