Monday, March 3, 2008

blast from the past

today i decided out of nowhere that i was gonna see my ex for the first time in like 8 months.
and yes, i was nervous. nervous about what it was gonna be like, how was i gonna be like...and all those normal things...
and while waiting for him at the bookstore, i almost felt like jetting out but i stayed.
i pulled it thru.
and then, i saw him. and then, i was taken back because he was quite different from what i remembered him.
he looked the same but he looked so distantly different.
after having dinner with him and waiting for the subway and bus back, i was in a trance..
thinking about, what our past really means and if it really is just a dream. not even the same dream but each of our own dream.
i think so.
we remember different things. interpret different things. and learn different things.
what we go from now is also just another dream. our own little dream. how was i gonna dream this scenario was totally up to me.
i think..... i am gonna make this a funny happy caring one.
toast to that.

1 comment:

--V-- said...

I stumbled across your blog by accident, but I'm glad I did.

I recently found myself in a similar situation--seeing an ex for the first time in a while. In my case, it had only been a few weeks, but it was enough. Enough to make him appear...what was it that you said? Distantly different? That's exactly what it felt like. He was so far removed from where he used to be...where we were together...I too left wondering so many things, caught in my own little bubble.

Anyway, I just had to comment on your insightful thoughts. It's nice to find someone who can articulate feelings that are often difficult to explain. Thanks!