sunday

i am loving this day. i am in my studio playing, making art, and listening to pixies. rocking my head, writing calligraphy.

i wrote same phrase over and over and over again. put them together. i don't know what it is but i am seriously falling in love with this calligraphy writing. it is so god damn sexy.

took pictures of some of my favorites.

Room

In the air of emptiness,
i hide my soul
i lock it just in case....

within time,
it gets filled in
and my secret disguised

did i forget
did i...

moments before you and i,
i unlock my soul
in the warmth of sun in your face,
i am melted into the room
full of emptiness once again.

drawing

i love these kid like drawings. makes me want to jump around

remembering my dream

in my dream,

i am walking with a guy that i dearly feel... it's new and it's pink.
it feels like its gonna rain.
we walk into a bodega
we pick up a can of budweiser
we are walking to a restaurant sharing a can of beer
it starts to pour really hard
we run and get under a corner awning that's just barely big enough
watching the rain, hearing, and feeling the rain.
we are trapped underneath for more than 10 minutes
we finish our beer
just laughing

my dream as i remembered.

stranger

i had a guy follow me up the street today to ask me for my number.

in the begining, i was really annoyed and tried to avoid eye contact but later, i got toally fascinated with the way this guy was looking at me.

he literally looked mesmorized by me. crazy! i can't wait to tell A & P.

totally made me ponder.

i told him to give me his number.

should i call him?

Nahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

peaceful sunday

i am loving this peacefulness.

birds talking, some cars going by, someone nailing something in the far distnace...and just the sound of me tying away.

jersey life.... peaceful indeed.

meditation board

i made an artpiece for my dad.

hope it helps him to meditate better.

if it doesn't, it's still my favorite. i think i am gonna dwell on this for a while.

calligraphy

new painting studies

the never ending question again... what to paint next.

why is this so hard for me??? why????

went out hiking towards the late afternoon with my favorite dad
he drove so i took some video clips of the ride and then some nature when i got there.
came back with mosquito bite on my arm. souvenir i guess

more nude drawings

tried to draw more edgy lines towards the end of the drawing session.

this could be even better.

boo

it's good to break rules!

vessel

tonight, i had a promise with myself. i will not compare myself. i will look straight ahead and i will not stop running. this is my time.

lost drawings

today, i stopped by the drawing studio. while drawing figures, i got bored. i started wandering around the room until i caught my own drawings in the corner of the room. it must of gotten dropped from my shelf. it was going to be lost forever if i didn't see them today. poor drawings. i think i need to post them up just because they are survivers.

more naked drawings. i do too many of these. i think i need serious sex therapy!

what would come out of it.

it's a battle bt my mind and my body that will create something in between.

it's an odd feeling of painting something. i am creating something out of me. it exists because of me.

chop me into many pieces

with so many agonizing days, i finally got the courage to start my 2nd painting. now that i got a start, i am starting to feel happy again.
i am totally bipolar. crazy! just right down crazy!!!!
anyway, i guess, in the end, you just learn to know more of yourself.
how do you find the balance?
how do others do it? why is it such a struggle for me? am i missing something? i truly wonder..... is it because i am an artist? or is being an artist just an excuse? where does sanity and insanity divide?
i recently told my friend that i think my life would have been so much easier if i didn'thave the rebellious issue... would i have wanted to be just another person doing the same thing that other people did... why would i waste my life that way? why do i think this way? why do i make myself utterly alone in this world.
why was i made this way.....
conspiracy i tell you.

what exactly is the point?

lately i can't stop to wonder what the point is..
i mean wht is the frickin point? why do we get up, why do we work, why do we do all the things that we do? is it because it makes us happy? for how long would that keep us happy? i feel like everything in life is such a bore.
everything! there's a conspiracy going on up there...i just know it.

bar scene

today, i went to hang out with my friend J after drawing.

i looked at the bar scene from outside.

i decided that i do not want to go in.

one thing for sure, i do not want to talk in loud settings anymore.

words are too precious to be lost in that fashion.

that's my thought of the day.

honestly

how often can you pour your soul out to someone

how honest can you be

how much would you bare yourself

how much are you willing to share

4.21.08