happy moment = took picture in my studio while the sun was hitting one of the yarn thread on my desk. it looked so magical. all the little thread pieces were glowing in front of my eyes...
after work, i got a small box and started to put the last pieces of what's left at my desk. i won't be sitting there anymore after today. i sat down in front of my computer and just absorbed the moment for a while. it was quite sad empty feeling. i walked out and to the subway, to the bus station, and to the bus, to my house...just like every other day...feeling totally empty and sad. really sad and didn't see what the reason was behind all the trouble all the laughter and all everything. after dinner, feeling totally the same, i came into my studio and started coloring the yarn on my desk. just coloring, coloring, and coloring, and hoping for some great accident of art to happen... and thought to myself..
'maybe the way i feel leads me to do art. like i have no choice. would i be doing art if i was happy? would i be doing art if i wasn't feeling so sad and lonely?'
i wasn't sure if i couldn't answer or if i didn't want to answer.
either way, i left myself dumbfounded.
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